Sunday, June 22, 2014

Secret Agent Man

[Note: Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man" was the opening music for the American broadcast of "Secret Agent", a popular British television program in the mid-1960s; this post is a parody of an episode of "Dragnet", a very popular American police drama which aired on both radio and television from the late 1940s into the mid '50s, and on television alone from about 1957 until 1959. It was revived for television several times after that, most recently in 2003. All photos used in this post, unless otherwise noted, are from David Correia's Twitter stream.]

It was hot in the City, Albuquerque, New Mexico, a place the travel brochures ought to say is "so close to Texas yet so far from God." A company of useless eaters was gathered in Roosevelt Park south of Central Avenue -- aka, the World Famous Route 66 -- to vent their spleens about an "end police brutality." I was working the day shift out of police intelligence. The name is Peck, Jason Peck. I carry a badge.

Useless eaters have meant trouble in the city of Albuquerque, New Mexico, for as long as my partners and I have been cops. We look at ourselves as Human Waste Disposers. When a man needs killing, we take care of it. And when the undeserving go against the established order, it is up to us to learn their plans and to thwart their schemes.

For months now, some of the lesser people of Albuquerque have been trying to get above themselves, demanding that the police be held to account for wrongdoing, and for the dozens of shootings and deaths at the hands of the Albuquerque Police Department. They even had the nerve to demand that the City call in the Department of Justice to investigate whether the police in Albuquerque had a "pattern and practice" of unconstitutional policing. 

The Department of Justice reported unfavorably on the patterns and practices  of the Albuquerque Police Department.

My partners and I set out to gather intelligence about the anti-social behaviors of the subhuman elements involved in the march and rally "to end police brutality."

The useless eaters sat around in Roosevelt Park on blankets and pieces of cardboard they called "signs" while they waited for their leaders to call them to order and begin their "march" through quiet neighborhoods toward the main boulevard, Central Avenue, made famous in numerous television shows and musical numbers.

There were dozens of them. News reports said there were perhaps a total of 200-300 involved in the disturbance that day, but I would put their number at closer to 1,000 or even 2,000. As everybody knows, the media has a hard time gauging the number of participants in public activities, over-estimating the numbers for some events, underestimating the numbers for others. It is up to us, as officers of the law, to provide accurate numbers for our superiors, so I spent much of the day circulating among the crowd counting them one by one.

I was in disguise.

As I moved through the crowd like my partners, also seen in the photo above -- a photo taken surreptitiously by a member of the crowd of unwashed ingrates it should be noted, but captured by our intelligence programs which constantly scan the Internet for useful and relevant information -- I used my department issued camera-phone to take pictures of the hippies and dippies and to send them to Headquarters for review in real time. Technology provides many helpful tools to law enforcement, and we undercover agents make full use of them. You can see my partners checking their text messages and recently captured photos of potential troublemakers sent by me and other members of the police intelligence team in the photo above.

Later, each of us would use our skills and training to identify individuals who were likely to cause trouble for the widely admired civic leadership of Albuquerque and to "tag" them for future reference. I shall say no more about that essential tool for controlling obstreperous residents and visitors to our fair city.

For example:

They start them young.

Or this:

Obviously, a Communist infiltrator from out of town.

As the march -- so-called -- set out from the park toward Central Avenue, one of our agents in an unmarked car attempted to disrupt the procession:

Someone named "David" blocked the car by standing in front of it and directing "marchers" around it. "David" has been identified as a subversive professor at the University and as a leader of the hippies and no-accounts around town who agitate against the established order. He is facing a felony charge of battery on a peace officer for his involvement in the take over of the Mayor's office a few days ago.


The "marchers" were told by APD that the police would be providing traffic control during their "march," but obviously, somehow, this vehicle got through. As the car had no license plate, it will be difficult to determine who was behind the wheel. This is just one way our agents are protected from the mob.

"Secret Agent Man" they've given you a number and taken 'way your name.

Officers of the law have found in other operations that self-proclaimed "peaceful protestors" are fairly easy to provoke to violence. Sending this car into the crowd just as they began to "march" might have been an effective provocation but for the interference of the one called "David." Note was taken for future reference. Further charges may have to be filed by the District Attorney.

Later as the "march" passed the entrance to the University of New Mexico, a band of American Indian drummers interfered with the "marcher's" chants (frequent repetitions of "No Justice, No Peace" and insults against brave and valiant public safety officers such as myself...)

One of our open agents known as "Jennifer" disrupted the "march" at Silver Avenue. She has been fundamental to our ongoing efforts to disturb the tranquility of every "march" and "protest demonstration." If it were up to me, she'd get an award from the Mayor and the Police Chief for her tireless efforts.

"Jennifer" shares her true beliefs about APD:

We love her dearly, too. She was once a useless eater like the rest of the human waste, but now she performs a number of valuable functions on behalf of the police.

I stayed with the crowd most of the day. There were few incidents. The one called "David," however, spotted our undercover officers and took their pictures and posted them on something called The "Twitter." Later in the day, one of the local television stations made note of the fact that "one undercover agent" who had been at the march and rally "to end police brutality" had shot and wounded a suspect several years ago. The report did not name the officer, but described his appearance, activities, and named the suspect whom he shot.
One of the officers did come as a surprise to a KRQE News 13 reporter and producer, who observed the sergeant of the APD Criminal Intelligence Unit milling about the crowd of a few hundred at the park.
The sergeant appeared to be trying to blend in with demonstrators. He wore a tie-dyed T-shirt, long hair brushed back out of his eyes, dark sunglasses and a lengthy, unkempt beard.
The sergeant did not respond to an emailed request for comment.
It is unclear whether the sergeant was armed, but he carried something to shoot with: a high-end Canon camera with video and still-image capabilities
At several points on Saturday, he had the camera trained on demonstrators, who chanted things like “They say ‘justified,’ we say ‘homicide,’” and carried signs bearing messages such as “Not one more shooting,” “Jail killer cops” and “End APD violence.”
The nature of the protest — and the root of the simmering discontent that has engulfed New Mexico’s largest city this year — makes the sergeant’s presence at Saturday’s event even more curious.
On Aug. 6, 2012, he shot 20-year-old Domonick Solis-Mora in the stomach outside a West Side buffet restaurant during an undercover drug sting. APD had set up surveillance on the area, and an undercover officer, according to police, bought more than $200 worth of heroin from Solis-Mora in Solis-Mora’s vehicle during an operation.
The man had a gun under his legs, according to police, and pulled it out when he saw undercover officers coming toward the car. According to APD, the man was pointing the gun toward officers when the sergeant shot him.
Solis-Mora survived.
Now the one called "David" is encouraging those who attended the disturbance yesterday to :

This may not end well...

The good citizens of Albuquerque -- and there are many -- can rest assured that no matter what happens to me and the other undercover public safety officers who risk their lives every minute of every day to protect the persons and property of people of quality, their safety and the safety of their things is always our top priority. No matter what the Department of Justice says, no matter what the FBI does in Albuquerque, we, the officers of the law, are committed to providing the very best in split-second decisions to eliminate threats to the comfort and convenience of deserving Albuquerque-ans.

We do our jobs.

Just ask Jennifer.

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