Adding a little bit

 The after effects of the chemo treatment were worse than I anticipated. The first day was fine. Second through fifth not so much. Primarily because of ... wait for it .... hiccups. Began on the second day and would not stop -- despite all kinds of medications for nausea and vomiting and allergy and what not -- until I concocted a remedy of my own:

*Tums

*Prilosec

*Cold milk

Ta da! Done and dusted.

But for that period of hiccupping constantly, I was miserable. Still fatigued, sleep all the time and then some, and though I'm actually getting physically stronger, I feel weak as well as tired.

I still can't walk without a walker or someone holding on to a gait belt and that drives me nuts, but I don't want to fall again. I've lost weight, down to about 155. I eat, though, so I'm not sure why I'm still losing weight. Maybe the cancer just eats up everything. I'll continue to try to get my weight up to 165 or so. My hair is starting to fall out, so I think I'll cut what's left real short and see what happens. Other than that, I feel fine. No pain to speak of. What I do feel is easily controlled with prescribed opioids. I'm grateful for that. 

Ms. Ché is more and more overwhelmed, and I feel terrible about it. I wish there was more I could do and that the feelers I've put out to get her some help were being promptly answered. But you know, any little bit makes a difference.

If I'm on Death's Door, I sure don't feel like it. Nope. Apart from the aforementioned side effects of the chemo I don't feel any different at all. If someone hadn't told me, I wouldn't know I had cancer. On the other hand, I met with the infectious disease specialist the other day. He's the one who cleared the spinal infection last year. He felt terrible that I had such a diagnosis, and he said he went through my charts from last year, every thing he could find, and there was nothing that said or confirmed I had cancer, and direct tests (bone biopsy) were negative. I agreed. There was no solid confirmation of cancer last year, despite high PSA (43) and inconclusive evidence of bone lesions (spine and pelvis) and unidentified carcinoma in one of the biopsies. 

So it was a shock -- to the providers not to me so much -- when tests came back last month conclusively demonstrating advanced prostate cancer, so advanced that I think they're stumped at doing much of anything about it except making me as comfortable as possible. 

Next chemo on the 13th, then four more, then done.